SAFE MENTORING GUIDELINES
Connextions | Recommended practices for partner churches
Connextions exists to help people grow in faith through caring, one-on-one relationships. Because mentoring is personal, protecting everyone involved is part of doing it well. These guidelines describe the practices Connextions recommends to every partner church. Each church remains responsible for its own ministry and may adopt stricter policies.
1. WHO CAN SERVE AS A MENTOR
Mentors should be people your church already knows and trusts. We recommend that every mentor:
Is an active member or regular attender of the church for at least one year.
Is approved by the pastor or a designated ministry leader.
Completes a background check and your church's standard volunteer screening before being paired.
Reviews these guidelines and signs the Mentor Agreement.
Completes the Connextions mentor orientation and haved a brief orientation with your ministry leader.
Your church may decline or remove any mentor at its discretion.
2. WHO CAN PARTICIPATE
Connextions courses are designed for adults 18 and older. Participants may be church members, attenders, or people from the wider community who are invited by a mentor.
3. PAIRING GUIDELINES
One-on-one pairings are same gender. Men mentor men, and women mentor women.
Couples mentor couples. For marriage and relationship courses, a mentor couple meets with the participating couple together.
Leadership is informed. The designated ministry leader knows who is paired with whom.
4. WHERE AND HOW TO MEET
Meet in public or visible settings, such as a coffee shop, restaurant, park, or the church building during open hours.
Avoid meeting alone in a private home, especially early in the relationship. If a home meeting is needed, another adult should be present.
Online meetings by video or phone are welcome. Keep them at reasonable hours.
Avoid situations that could be misunderstood, such as long car rides alone or overnight travel.
Keep communication appropriate in tone and timing, whether by text, email, or social media.
5. THE MENTOR'S ROLE AND ITS LIMITS
A mentor is a friend and guide, not a counselor, therapist, or financial advisor. Mentors listen, encourage, pray, and walk through the course material together. Mentors should refer the participant to their pastor or a qualified professional when a conversation involves:
Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
Abuse, domestic violence, or safety concerns
Addiction - Serious mental health struggles
Grief that seems to be deepening rather than easing over time
Serious marital conflict, separation, or infidelity
Legal or significant financial trouble
Referring someone is not a failure. It's part of caring for them well. Mentors can keep meeting and supporting a participant while they also receive professional help. Mentors should not lend or give significant money, enter business arrangements with participants, or ask participants for personal favors.
6. CONFIDENTIALITY AND ITS LIMITS
Mentors keep what participants share private and don't pass it along to others, including in prayer requests, without permission. However, confidentiality has limits. A mentor must share information with the pastor or ministry leader, and where required, the proper authorities, when:
Someone is in danger of harming themselves or others.
There is any indication that a child, elderly person, or vulnerable adult is being abused or neglected.
Mentors follow their church's reporting policy and applicable law. Mentors should gently explain these limits at the first meeting, so participants know what to expect.
7. WHEN A PAIRING ISN'T WORKING
Either the mentor or the participant may end the pairing at any time, for any reason, without needing to explain. Simply let the ministry leader know, and they can help arrange a new match if desired.
8. RAISING A CONCERN
If anyone involved has a concern about a mentor, participant, or the way a relationship is going, they should contact the pastor or the designated ministry leader right away. Concerns will be taken seriously and handled with care and discretion. If a concern involves possible misconduct, the church should pause the pairing while the matter is reviewed.
9. THE CHURCH'S RESPONSIBILITIES
We recommend that each partner church:
Names a ministry leader to oversee Connextions and serve as a point of contact.
Keeps a record of approved mentors, completed screenings, and signed agreements.
Checks in with mentors periodically, at least quarterly.
Confirms with its insurance provider that mentoring activities are covered.
Reviews these guidelines with mentors at least once a year.
MENTOR AGREEMENT
To be signed by each mentor and kept on file by the church As a Connextions mentor at the church, I agree to:
Follow the Connextions Safe Mentoring Guidelines and my church's policies.
Complete any required background check and orientation before mentoring.
Meet only in public, visible, or online settings, and avoid being alone with a participant in a private home.
Mentor only participants of the same gender, or serve alongside my spouse when mentoring a couple.
Keep what participants share confidential, except where someone's safety is at risk or reporting is required.
Promptly report any concern about abuse, harm, or danger to my pastor or ministry leader.
Refer participants to our pastor or a qualified professional when needs go beyond my role.
Keep all communication appropriate and respectful.
Not lend or give significant money, or enter business arrangements, with a participant.
Step back from mentoring if my church asks me to, and let the ministry leader know if I can no longer serve.
Mentor name (print): ___________________________________________________________ Date: ________________________________
Mentor signature: _______________________________________________________________ Date: _______________________________
Approved by (pastor or ministry leader): _______________________________________ Date: _______________________________
Signature: _______________________________________________________________________ Date: ________________________________